Tuesday, February 17, 2009


There was a comic book movie released in 1999 ago called Mystery Men (starring Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo) who's cast of characters have rather lame powers. The Spleen has super-powered flatulence, Invisible Boy can only be invisible when no one is looking at him, and the Blue Raja can throw silverware accurately, except for knifes. And if I was part of this team I would be the Shocker. No, not him. And definitely not that. I have the ability to discharge over 3000 volts of electricity from my body with terrible force! But only over 1 inch. And I have no control over it. Every winter like clockwork I become charged up with electrons, and touching anything metal is an exercise in SCIENCE. And just because you're human doesn't mean you get away free. I've been known to shock people via my hands AND nose. I'm a double threat.


Ric said...

Especially the nose.

STOP dragging your feet!

Belle said...

I get shocked every time I exit my car. I don't understand it.

BLaZE said...

I think Greg needs to learn to stop walking like Slingblade.

And I agree with Belle. My car has to be Greg's long lost sidekick. It's clockwork that Pilgrim will jolt me on ever exit. I have been behavorially conditioned to close my doors with my sleeved elbow.

Chad said...

I think Greg needs to learn to stop walking like Slingblade.

This made me cube-lol, (office-lol in my case).

I dont understand, my car has never shocked me ever. Any of them. are you people wearing wool underware or what?

yeah, i said "you people", what about it.

Gregor said...

No doubt your greasy hair and dego mustache help keep you grounded, Chad.