Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Dirty Confession

I'll admit, I started going tanning last week. With a trip to the Caribbean coming soon (Two weeks!), I figured it was important to have some manner of tan before going down to the Bahamas. Far gone are the days when I was a bronzed little guy, spending every day out in the sun. My grandpa was the same way, with his skin so dark during the summer from being outside that it looked more like broken-in leather than human epidermis.

It was joke in our family that we had to be careful going into Mexico when I was a kid, because on the way back to the US customs might not let us cross because I looked Mexican. My nickname during the internship? Lopez, for the same reasons. But the older I get, the more it takes for me to get tan. And in the past 10 years I've been getting more and more sunburned before the tan kicks in. I don't think it's a matter of getting older, but probably more in line with the fact that most of my time is spent inside rather than outside. I go to work in the morning, and the sun isn't up yet. And I go home at night just when the sun is going down. Kind of depressing, but c'est la vie.


Comely blond supermodel sold separately.

So anyways, I found a tanning salon that was only a few blocks from our place, Sunseekers in Shorewood, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was only $10 for the month for unlimited tanning (after a small fib about being a student). So I get my room, get all nakey, and lay down in the tanning bed.....and wait. Now what the frak do I do? How does this thing turn on? I see the count down timer is at 3 minutes, but no matter how much monkey-esque banging on the buttons I do it won't start. I've gotta wait for the timer to count down. So I lay back and wait, and giggle to myself at the ludicrousness of the situation. Here I am, buck naked in an unfamiliar place, laying down in a makeshift coffin waiting for large tubes of chemicals to ignite and bask me in artificial light. Will modern wonders never cease?

5 comments:

Ric said...

Maybe the reason you're not tan right now is because IT'S FEBRUARY.

Come July, you'll find your roots again.

Epic Gecko said...

I, however, am perpetually pale. The tannest I have ever been was in Italy...and I wasn't so much tan as I looked tan because my hair was even blonder than normal.

I used to peel when I got sunburned, now my skins all "pfft, the hell with that" and just turns pale again about a day later. It's like I'm two red irises away from an albino.


On the plus side, I make everyone I'm around look even darker.

Belle said...

That's a good idea Gecko. Say goodbye to skin cancer, I've got Mattias, essential for a safe and simple tanning solution. You're my new accessory.

KiltRunner said...

Gregor you are such a slut!

Anonymous said...

'c'est la vie' Greg??? Really???