Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Milkman Cometh


I doubt my sanity every morning when I wake up. Every night is filled with a buffet of dreams that are so weird and off the wall that most times, instead of wondering "what do they mean?" I wonder "should I be committed??" Take last night for example:

I'm driving in a '60s muscle car through somewhere in the Southwestern US. I pull off the dirt road onto a rundown wayside, with nothing but a few picnic tables and some sunburnt shrubs. An ancient robot comes over to me, asking what I'm doing there, but before I can respond I see a nurse walking towards me. She looks like Catalina from My Name is Earl. She asks me if I want to have milk delivered to my house every morning, and I instantly say yes. She opens up her nurse bag (and suddenly is in a tanktop and short-shorts), and pulls out all the necessary items to test my blood. I don't think this is odd, for some reason. She gives me the little medicated swab to clean my finger, and then she asks if I've given blood recently. I said yes, just a few weeks ago. She looks at me for a second, and then begins packing up. I ask her what's wrong and she responds, "That's far too recent, we can't do this." I won't get milk delivered to my house every morning?!?!! Nooooooooooo!

Yep, like I said, insane. Why would she need to test my blood in order to have milk delivered?? DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Good news is that my other dreams were more normal, in that one of them I was Ghost Rider, jumping from roof to roof while ninjas chase after me. And in the other one I punched a bunch of people in the face, and they dropped big stacks of money, GTA-style, so Charlie and I sat down to count it.

Bad news is that I'm almost out of milk.

3 comments:

BLaZE said...

You think you have problems? Every morning I have to wash the blood from my hands and clothes and wonder when it will all stop. The exorcist says he hasn't seen... I, I've said too much.

Ric said...

You know... it's probably better that this happens in your sleep, versus kicking the shit out of your pillow -- or other people.

MrB said...

He never kicks the shit out of me when I sleep with hi... I... I've said too much.