Batman had the Joker. Sherlock Holmes had Professor Moriarty. Churchill had Hitler. The arch-nemesis, the yin to our yang. Every notable character has one, and as such I have one also. I have faced him at numerous times in my life, sometimes coming out victorious, other times leaving the battlefield a broken and bloodied man. We are destined to forever battle, for the fate of all that is good in this world. My arch nemesis?
I have such a love/hate relationship with those little fuckers it's ridiculous. The last two times I've had wings they've left me sweating up a storm, drinking as much beer as possible to cool my mouth. And then the next day.....oh the next day. Firey farts, burning defecation. This morning I did the unthinkable: I pooped directly after my shower. So ashamed. Will I give up, admit defeat, and next indulge in those tasty bites of chicken again? NEVER! I will train my mouth and stomach to enjoy the pain, like a true man. Before and after Thursday night kickball games I will practice, indulging in 30 cent wings at O'Brien's, and by God I will vanquish my enemy. In due time, my domesticated fowlish foe.
2 months ago